today is my due date.
i know, i know. due dates aren't accurate. and this being my third and all i should know that my kids don't come when they're due. still, this day is one of the hardest days for me to deal with, if only because everything this time pointed to early delivery--early dilating, lots and lots of contractions, etc.
but no. here i sit, not in labor.
yesterday i went to visit my friend, who has the same doctors as i and delivered at the same hospital i will be delivering at, and even being there and NOT being in labor wasn't as discouraging as waking up this morning after a horrible night and having nothing to show for it. last night was "family fun night" at the church, and everyone gathered round to make predictions and pray for me, saying they just KNEW i was going to go into labor that night.
of course i appreciated the prayers, but let me just let you in on a little theory of mine concerning the predictions:
it seems like every time the words, "you're totally having this baby tonight" come out of someone's mouth it means another week of nothing followed by a doctor's appointment where i'm told, "sorry, no change this week." it's like a curse. i see the words forming on someone's lips and in my head someone starts yelling, "NOOOOOOO" in slow motion, but it's always too late. they've said those horrible yet well-meant jinxing words and i'm stuck with another week of waddling, cringing, and bursting into tears for no apparent reason.
good grief, this is the most depressing post. just call me eeyore. or puddleglum. or any other literary character who seems a permanent pessimist.
just don't say, "you're totally having this baby tonight!" or i might just hire a hit man to come pay you a little visit.