the closer we get to leaving for novorossysk, the hungrier for adventure i get. i feel like a thing that is reaching critical mass--any more tension and i might blow up, leaving little bits of jenn all over the apartment. which would be messy. and probably smelly.
i read about the lives of friends, people doing awesome things for God and others, traveling all over the world, and this hungry little animal inside snarls and beats itself against my ribcage, longing to be let go, to be free.
but it isn't so much a matter of wanderlust. as nomadic as my life has been, a big part of me craves the comfort and security of home. a white picket fence. a tire swing and a garden. it isn't malcontent either. true, i don't care for florida but i'm here and it mostly doesn't bother me. i guess it's more the desire to throw myself headlong into life. i'm tired of comfort zones. i'm tired of my mind going into a haze of blahness whenever i try to think of what i could do for the Lord. tired of looking at the exciting lives of others with a sort of wistful resignation. time for some adventures of my own, dang it!
some people have suggested our motives for moving are wrong, or at the very least ill-advised. well, maybe our motives aren't pure. we want to go where God wants us to go, but we are also excited about seeing our friends. about helping them and being part of something dynamic. and by worldly standards the move is ill-advised. nobody in their right mind would intentionally move to some tiny burg in russia when they have comfort and security right where they are. but who cares what the world (or even other christians for that matter) think? what matters is God. He made us for His own good pleasure, so pleasing Him is what we should do. i have no desire to please people if it contradicts what God wants.
meanwhile, the little beast snarls and bounces off the walls of its cage of flesh. or maybe that's just my stomach growling. who knows.